Thursday, September 22, 2005

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

By now most of you have no doubt heard about our pledge to abandon our nuclear weapons program. But before any of you jump to conclusions and accuse me going soft, keep in mind that this isn't the first time we've made such a promise.

We like to do it every few years, and the stupid Americans fall for it every damn time. Besides, I'm starting to feel sorry for Bush. I mean, have you seen how thoroughly he's f*cked up his country? So I thought I've give the poor man some good news for a change.

I may be a maniacal commie tyrant, but at least I'm a compassionate maniacal commie tyrant.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

It's an exciting time here in North Korea. We've just introduced our first credit card!! Needless to say, this is something our people have long looked forward to, and it ushers in the dawn of a glorious new day for our nation.

Now if only our people had enough money to actually buy something, then we'd really have it made!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Scientists have detected a massive explosion some 12 billion light years from Earth. Now I know what many of you are thinking: That I was somehow behind it.

Well, I can't lie to my regular readers. I respect both of you too much.

The truth of the matter is that, well, um, yes, I was. It was my country, er, testing one of our many warheads. As you can see, the test was quite successful to be detectable halfway across the universe!

So you people had better start being nice to us. Some food would be nice.