By now most of you have no doubt heard about our pledge to abandon our nuclear weapons program. But before any of you jump to conclusions and accuse me going soft, keep in mind that this isn't the first time we've made such a promise.

We like to do it every few years, and the stupid Americans fall for it every damn time. Besides, I'm starting to feel sorry for Bush. I mean, have you seen how thoroughly he's f*cked up his country? So I thought I've give the poor man some good news for a change.

I may be a maniacal commie tyrant, but at least I'm a compassionate maniacal commie tyrant.