Those stupid Iranians are a bunch of wimps and pussies!!! I am genuinely insulted to be categorized in the same "Axis of Evil" as those losers!

If you haven't heard, there is new evidence that the traces of uranium found in Iran actually came from contaminated equipment that Pakistan sold them a few years ago. If true, this would seem to indicate that the Iranians have been telling the truth all along and are genuinely interested in pursuing nuclear power only as a peaceful power source.

It's people like that that give us rogue nations a bad name.

So let me take this opportunity to assure all of you out there that we here in the Democratic Republic of Korea--or whatever the hell our formal name is--are most certainly NOT interested in the peaceful pursuit of nuclear technology. More importantly, I really am a mentally unstable psychopath hellbent on selling atomic warheads to the highest bidder on eBay.

So are you scared now? Are you crapping your pants out of terror.... Or is that because of some other undiagnosed medical condition? Whatever the reason, it's disgusting, and you should be thoroughly embarrassed.

So give us aid, or we'll build even more bombs to scare you with.