Did you miss me? What do you mean what do I mean? I haven't blogged in months! You people forgot all about me, didn't you? Well, you better not do that again, because I have nukes. Lots of 'em. And I'm not afraid to sell them on eBay to the highest bidder!

Yeah, all of a sudden you're ALL sorry you've been ignoring me, aren't you?

I mean, what is the deal with you people? Iran keeps denying it's developing nuclear weapons, but everyone keeps talking about them all the damn time. Then you have me, who freely admits to having several warheads sitting around--already built, assembled, and ready to go boom--and hardly anyone notices until I release another statement reminding the world that I'm still around!! Do you have any idea how frustrating that is!?!?!

Tell you what.... Give me a couple of million bushels of grain, and I'll go away for a few months.... At least until we get hungry again.