There are some VERY nasty rumors going around about me and my hair. Specifically, some imperialist running dogs are suggesting that I am, er, going bald. They point to a recent photo of me hugging the President of China.

Nothing could be further from the truth. That particular phot was just taken from a bad angle. Plus, I just finished a very long train ride and was still somewhat disheveled from the trip. So unless you're prepared to swear that YOUR hair doesn't look funny in the mornings, I would suggest you keep your petty gossip to yourself.

Not only am I as manly and virile as ever, I have nukes! Several of them, in fact. So don't be pissing me off.