America has backed off somewhat on its demand that we dismantle our nuclear program. Of course, they claim it's because they want to give us humanitarian aid to help our starving citizens, but that's a lie. There is no starvation in North Korea. We are all very well fed! Our studies have repeatedly shown rat meat, tree bark, and rice to be a heart-healthy diet rich in calcium and fiber, and low in cholesterol. So we have more food than we know what to do with.
Seriously.
I swear!
The real reason the imperialist dogs have backed off their demands is that they are scared of us. And they should be! We have nukes, after all, and are not afraid to give them away To every Tom, Dick, and Osama who wants one! Indeed, we are a great and powerful nation fully capable of taking our rightful place on the world stage.
Say, that sandwich you're eating looks good. Can I have a bite?