Sunday, November 30, 2003

I'm sure some of you capitalist losers continue to believe that your pathetic system is somehow better than my brand of communism. And you would probably just laugh at me when I say that capitalism feeds off the greed of its followers. "Ah, but there's nothing wrong with that," you would no doubt answer between your ignorant guffaws. "That's what we call 'economic incentive.'"
Well, fine, laugh it up. But let me say that your so-called "economic incentives" is nothing more than greed by a fancy name. And it KILLS!!!!
If you doubt me, look at this story. A woman in a Wal-Mart was trampled by a mob trying to buy DVD players that were on sale for $49.95! How cold and heartless is that!?!
That is why our way of life is vastly superior to the greed-driven lifestyle of western societies: Not only can none of our citizens afford DVD players--on sale or not--but they are so ignorant that they don't even KNOW what a DVD player is!!
I rest my case.

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Today was the 75th anniversary of that capitalist symbol, Mickey Mouse. How appropriate that a giant, overgrown rodent should come to symbolize a system that feeds off the waste of humanity.
Oh, sure! Mickey started off cute, adorable, and lovable. Many novelties are like that in the beginning, until people realize that there's really nothing there. Despite his early successes--or perhaps because of them--wealth soon began to corrupt Mickey and his small cadre of animated, exploitive friends. Then one day he came home early and discovered that his wife was f*cking Goofy. That's when his existance began to fall apart.
The rodent soon turned to alcohol and prescription drug abuse, and much like a cartoon version of Rush Limbaugh, his life went into a downward spiral.
All in all, a fitting example of the evils of capitalism.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Did he say Marx and Engles? Hmm.... I'll have to be sure to set my TiVO to record that.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

So who's acting?

Sunday, November 09, 2003

I guess I can't get anything past the American intelligence services. Apparently their Central Imperialist Agency has finally figured out that I probably have a nuclear bomb. Well, it's about time! I've been threatening and blathering and issuing threatening remarks for the last year and they're only NOW figuring this out?!?!
On the other hand, why should this surprise me? These are the same people that said Iraq was positively bristling with weapons of mass destruction.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

The secret is in asking nicely.