Many critics refer to North Korea as being "evil." How evil? Well, this guy has it exactly right:

For some odd reason, a group of Cubans tried to flee Fidel's workers' paradise.... In a 1959 Buick. That's right: They took a 45 year old buick, made it watertight, and took to the sea with it. Needless to say, they were intercepted by a US Coast Guard cutter and will soon be returned to Cuba.

What a bunch of idiots!!!

Any fool will tell you that to outrun a Coast Guard cutter, you need a 1956 Ford Thunderbird.

Once again, that fat pig of a capitalist, Santa Claus, has overlooked me.

I had a fairly simply wish list: A few more nuclear warheads (buying uranium on the international used arms market is quite expensive, especially for a nation that can't feed its own people. So if the opportunity for some freebies presents itself, I usually go for it); blueprints for developing MIRV delivery technology (that's like a quantity discount; several warheads for the price of one missile); and some long range ICBM's that can reach the east coast of the united States. Granted, I already have delivery systems that can reach the west coast, but what would be the point? The people in Berkeley and the rest of northern California are already unamerican communist sympathizers. Threatening them would be like me threatening Cuba!

Oh, and a train set. Preferably HO scale. With those little buildings that light up. And a locomotive that makes actual choo-choo noises.

But things will be different next year. I figure if my existing rockets can already reach parts of the continental US, then they can damn well reach Santa's workshop.

YIPPEE!!!
We are all set to formally declare that we have nukes, and to prove it, we're going to conduct a test. That should impress the rest of the world, which continues to call us a starving, poverty stricken nation. That's just a false image put out by the imperialist controlled media of the so-called free world.
HA!! The fact is that our people prefer freezing to death in rags while trying to catch rats for dinner!! Keeps the rodent population down, you know.
Anyway, one drawback to our nukes is that they are all manually controlled. That means that one of our brave scientists will have to sacrifice himself in the name of the revolution and actually push the red button on the side of the warhead. I'm getting ready to ask for volunteers now....
HEY!!! Where'd everyone go?